IMG_3777WAIT — Why Am I Talking?

WAIT — Why Am I Talking?  When I recently heard this acronym, I thought of a time, a few years ago, when it would have served me well. Twice in one morning I said things that I deeply regretted.  On the surface, the first one may have appeared as inconsequential conversation. However, a closer look revealed that it served no purpose but to make my husband feel bad about something he could do nothing about.  I told him about a missed opportunity.  It was missed because I had sent him an email requesting his input and he overlooked it.  The window of opportunity had expired.  There was nothing we could do about it.  It was certainly not his fault.  If anyone’s, it was mine.  That whole conversation was totally unnecessary.

The second thing I said that I regretted was really just plain mean-spirited.  My husband was leaving on a business trip for the next five days.  When he apologized that I was having to take on a duty for him in his absence, I first said that it was okay.  And then teasingly added,  “It’s just time I was going to use to write.”  I may have used a teasing tone of voice, but the message was still there.  Of course that was going to make him feel bad.  What other purpose did it serve?  I had this wonderful opportunity to be generous of spirit and I muddled it.

It did give me a clue that I needed to look a little deeper to see what’s going on with me.  As I did, I discovered that I had suppressed fear about his leaving.  Not fear for my safety, but fear of the changes involved in his not being here and the fear of missing him while he was away.  That fear took action in these covert verbal attacks.

This is not the person I want to be. Slowly, I am learning to stop and think before I speak.

WAIT — Why Am I Talking?

Digging underneath the obvious can reveal patterns of behavior and thought that sabotage my most precious relationships.

Some things are better left unsaid.  Before I speak, I want look at what effect my words might have on the listener.  It will also help to look at my motives.


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