Many ways to say “I love you”


IMG_3175A good friend of mine, who lost her husband several years ago, is now in a another relationship.  Her new partner is not one to use terms of endearment or to give her bouquets of compliments; for example, he has little to say about how nice she looks.  One day he told her that he wasn’t much for flowery language.  Her response showed her own inner confidence and wisdom.  “That’s OK,” she said. “Actions speak louder than words.”

Too often one or the other partner in a relationship gets hurt feelings because their mate didn’t seem to show the expression of love they expected.  My friend was wise enough to realize that her companion’s gift was right in front of her.  It may have been wrapped in a different gift wrapping than she’d been accustomed to; but, she knew the wrapping shouldn’t be confused with the gift inside.

A helpful saying to remember is that an  expectation is a resentment waiting to happen.  Further, expectations tend to put a blindfold over our eyes so we don’t see what’s right in front of us.  Perhaps our partner’s way of expressing love is not wrapped in pretty paper, or fancy words, but it’s there nonetheless.  Sometimes, it’s in the little thoughtful things they do.  Am I missing my gifts because I have preconceived ideas about what they’re supposed to look like?

Today I will look for the ways my partner says, “I love you.


Written October 2010, The Committed Relationship


2 comments to Many ways to say “I love you”

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