Shoulds and Oughts

Two words crept into our marriage before the ink dried on our marriage contract. For many years these two words remained unnoticed, surreptitiously and generously gifting the two of us and our daughter with a great deal of misery.

The words? Should and ought. These interlopers insisted on obedience and exacted punishment of all who […]

Self Respect and Self Inventory

If I feel put upon, put down, taken for granted, or in anyway abused, it will help to look at how I might be contributing to the problem. Perhaps I am taking myself too seriously. Could I be misinterpreting what he says? Am I projecting meaning into his words that isn’t even there? If I […]


The unexamined life is not worth living. – Socrates –


Two arch-enemies of a happy marriage are blame and criticism. If I’m unhappy with myself, it can be so tempting to employ these two practices. When I find myself focusing on his faults, this is a clue that I probably need to look at […]



There was a period in our life when my husband and our daughter and I were fascinated with small rocks. We enjoyed scanning creek beds for the most colorful ones, which we took home to polish in a rock tumbler. It was a three-stage process, each stage requiring several days. The first step took […]

How Am I Doing?


Our thirteen-year old grandson, who lives several hundred miles away, recently spent a week with us. It was a delightful week. He’s got one foot in boyhood and one toe in manhood. It sure didn’t take him long to get to this stage in his life. I realize that in thirteen more years, he’ll […]