Forgiveness as a Process

When resentment and anger have been keeping my spouse and me apart, the first step back into a loving relationship is a big dose of willingness. Without willingness, I most definitely will remain stuck. I must admit that sometimes withholding forgiveness feels good. I enjoy holding onto my anger and my self-righteousness. And, sometimes, I […]

Healing through Forgiveness

One of the most effective ways to snuff the life out of a happy marriage is to foster resentments. Too many couples pile up these subtle killers, refusing to let them go until their marriage collapses under the burden. Not only does nursing resentments smother the flames of affection and respect in a marriage, it […]

Another Guest

Anger came to visit last night. I took offense at something my spouse said. As I was expressing my anger to him, I knew that taking offense was a choice I was making. And I knew that although his words seemed to be aimed at me, they weren’t really about me. However, for a few […]


On occasion, my words or behavior with my spouse fall far below my expectations of myself. I say something in anger that I can’t believe I said, words that are designed to hurt. I feel mortified. It’s as though a dark shadow falls over me, cutting out all light, smothering me in gloom.

In the […]

Opportunity to Forgive

Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it. ― Mark Twain

I so much want to be perfect. But, I don’t think that’s going to happen in this lifetime. The path that seems right for me for moving closer to the person I was created to be is […]

Growing in Love




During the week following Valentine’s Day I find myself pondering the meaning of love, admittedly a lofty topic — one I’m not sure I can do justice. So, I won’t try. Instead I will attempt to put in writing some of the thoughts that I find working in my mind this day.


How Do I Forgive Thee?

“The only thing that heals is forgiveness.”

– From the TV series, Make it or Break It –

It has been several days since she and her husband returned from a vacation on the beach. It had not been the romantic getaway she had so carefully researched and choreographed as a special anniversary celebration.