If Only

If wishes made fishes, we’d have a fish fry. Author unknown

Hindsight has shown me that many of the decisions my spouse and I have made over the years did not end up as we had hoped. We especially seem to have a penchant for choosing workers for home repair and remodeling who do […]

Self Forgiveness

Guilt and blame are best friends. Knowing how these two play together in the playground of life, will help me free myself from their devious games — games that can sabotage a marriage.

If I look at my spouse through the dark glasses of my own guilt, I will most likely see him darkly. His […]

Guilt and Blame

Before going to bed last night, I asked my husband if he had locked the back door. He replied that he had. This morning I discovered that the door was unlocked. I am quite certain he believed he had locked it. However, I was tempted to tell him that I had found it unlocked. But […]


It’s not about whether you win or lose, but how you place the blame. Oscar Wilde

Oscar Wilde’s twist on another more honorable quote is humorous, but unfortunately, it too often becomes a way of responding in relationships.

I must admit that sometimes my first response when something goes wrong is to blame my spouse. […]