Teaching Moments

She’s being really difficult. She is our 8-year-old granddaughter, whose world is upside down because she has been outvoted in the selection of a restaurant for our lunch. The seven of us are seated at our table: our granddaughter and her two siblings, her parents, and her Granddad and I. Her mother keeps her tone […]

Making Amends

None of us are perfect human beings. We are all capable of error and moments of thoughtlessness. There are bound to be times when we fall short of loving behavior. The very familiarity and comfort we feel with another makes it easy to let our guard down. So, we say something unkind, let the other […]

Stay on My Side of the Street


There is a catchphrase that I heard years ago that has been generously helpful in maintaining harmony in our home over the last few decades. I hear these wise words speaking to me inside my head whenever I am tempted to focus on my spouse‚Äôs words, behavior, or motives. Stay on my side of […]

Making Music Together


Love is the harmony of two souls singing together. Gregory J. P. Godek

Sometimes I’m not at my best behavior. Sometimes he’s not at his best behavior. In other words, sometimes one or both of us is just plain cranky. I once heard this kind of conduct described as non-musical. I love […]

Conversation Stoppers

I catch myself feeling annoyed every time I hear my spouse say, “Okay, Babe,” in a tone of resignation. When I examine myself to see why I respond this way, I discover that it’s because I feel like he is trying to stop all further discussion of whatever the topic of conversation happens to be.


The Family Tree


She’s had enough. They’ve been married for several years, but she is ready to walk out. Her husband has a habit of criticizing her and putting her down. She struggles to keep up her self-esteem. She’s aware that her mother-in-law left her husband after many years of living with the same abusive behavior. In […]

Holding Up A Mirror

Sometimes my spouse’s words or behavior leaves me feeling exasperated. Other times I feel a little frightened for him, for example when I realize he does not wear his seatbelt faithfully. And, yes sometimes he says or does something that hurts my feelings.

The first thing I want to do when I am disturbed in […]

Acting As If

For many years my spouse and I acted as if everything was okay; as if we were okay. The problem was that everything was not okay. We were not okay. We were in denial. The trouble with our denial was that we stayed stuck in the muck we were in because we didn’t see that […]