“I always complained that he didn’t talk to me and tell me what was on his mind. I finally realized that I didn’t talk to him and tell him what was on my mind. I thought (a) he wouldn’t be interested, (b) he wouldn’t care, (c) he wouldn’t understand, or (d) he would […]

Making Our Needs Known

Marilyn always celebrated her husband’s and children’s birthdays. She celebrated Christmas, anniversaries, and Valentines Day. She bought presents, made special dinners and cakes, and decorated with the goal of making her family members feel special on these special days. But, no one returned the favor. No gifts, flowers, cakes, or special meals for her.

One […]

Repeating Patterns

For years, we fought, argued, and engaged in very painful emotional exchanges. The words were often different, the situations were different; however, the underlying theme was the same. I felt misunderstood and misjudged. I cried, yelled, and pleaded, trying to get him to understand me. He felt frustrated because I was upset, and he couldn’t […]

Adjusting My Assumptions

One of our favorite together activities is to work jigsaw puzzles while listening to music. There is something satisfying about bringing order out of chaos. In addition, we enjoy the delicious feeling of the almost inaudible click of a puzzle piece nestling into its position as we place it in the picture. The music […]