Another Guest

Anger came to visit last night. I took offense at something my spouse said. As I was expressing my anger to him, I knew that taking offense was a choice I was making. And I knew that although his words seemed to be aimed at me, they weren’t really about me. However, for a few […]

Fair Fights

“We never fight.” When I hear a couple say that about their marriage, I wonder if it can really be true. In the past I even envied them. Perhaps it is true. Perhaps what they mean is that they have perfected the art and skill of discussing differing views and desires in a friendly and […]

A Bad Mood

Because spouses share the same space, their moods and energy can get quite mixed up. If my spouse is having a bad day, I may end up on the receiving end of his bad mood, even though it has nothing to do with me. Though it may feel about me, I don’t have to take […]

A Painful Exchange

Guilt. Angry words. Verbal attack. Tears. Self-pity. Blame. An acutely painful morning for my spouse and me. This is not like us. It has been so long since we’ve been here. And, I cry.

The Voice of Love waits patiently by the sidelines, waiting for an invitation. I catch a mental view of myself […]

Facing Feelings


As they turn onto their street they see that it is littered with leaves and small limbs. Her mood, which had so recently been elevated by good food and the company of comfortable friends, sinks with a hint of foreboding. She knows what she is seeing is hail damage. Further, she’s aware that she […]

How Do I Forgive Thee?

“The only thing that heals is forgiveness.”

– From the TV series, Make it or Break It –

It has been several days since she and her husband returned from a vacation on the beach. It had not been the romantic getaway she had so carefully researched and choreographed as a special anniversary celebration.


Clashing Dreams


When my spouse and I are in a state of turmoil with each other, much of my emotion deflates when I redefine our conflict as simply a case of clashing dreams. Then, I can do what I do when I have a bad sleeping dream. I can wake up. I can let the images, […]