Accepting Myself

My grandson spills milk on the floor. Not a peep of criticism from my daughter. She simply laughs and states that she can’t say anything to anyone for spilling and dropping things because she’s worse than anyone in the family at just those things. She beautifully demonstrates an important principle. To give love […]

If Only

If wishes made fishes, we’d have a fish fry. Author unknown

Hindsight has shown me that many of the decisions my spouse and I have made over the years did not end up as we had hoped. We especially seem to have a penchant for choosing workers for home repair and remodeling who do […]

My Best is Good Enough

My art teacher once gave me a lesson in values and contrast and how I might apply the principles to my painting. I stated something about wanting to find the right values for my painting. He said there is no right value. We can only attempt to find the best value we can for what […]

Pulling Together

Six years ago our eleven-year old grandson was visiting from several hundred miles away. We were looking forward to taking him to the zoo. We get up and hit the kitchen to begin our day with coffee, when we hear water running. There is no reason that we should hear water running. My husband checks […]

Awareness, Acceptance, Action

Suddenly my friend’s story is no longer about her and her spouse; it is about me. I feel a flush of guilt as I listen.

She tells me about an experience with her husband that sounds much too familiar. She had worked all day gardening and was proud of her accomplishments. When her husband arrived […]

The Space Between Awareness and Acceptance

A recent experience showed me that I have much room for improvement in the space between awareness and acceptance. I called my husband to see if he’d seen a particular prescription of mine. Pause. Then softly, “Yes, I think I threw it away.” Awareness starts to dawn. My prescription is gone.

Thus begins the space […]

It Is What It Is

How much easier life flows when I loosen my grip on the world and people around me. The breeding ground for most discord in any relationship is the desire for one or both partners to want things “their way.” I usually have a certain script, a picture of how I want things or people […]

The Worst That Could Happen

My spouse and I had a time in our lives when we faced complete uncertainty. We were sure we knew what was the best thing that could happen for us in the situation. With this view, we also had a very clear picture of what was the worst thing that could happen. The worst that […]

The Serenity Prayer

There have been times in our marriage when I bartered, manipulated, and contrived to get my partner to change in some way that I felt was important. I reasoned, cajoled, cried, and yelled — all to no avail. Naturally, I wore myself out in the process.

Then one day I was introduced to the Serenity […]

Self-Forgiveness

On occasion, my words or behavior with my spouse fall far below my expectations of myself. I say something in anger that I can’t believe I said, words that are designed to hurt. I feel mortified. It’s as though a dark shadow falls over me, cutting out all light, smothering me in gloom.

In the […]