Balance in the Relationship

IMG_4288But let there be spaces in your togetherness and let the winds of the heavens dance between you.  Love one another but make not a bond of love; let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.

– Khalil Gibran –

Like so many areas of life, balance is an important part of a healthy relationship.  Spending time together enjoying mutual interests keeps a relationship from becoming stale and from lapsing into day-to-day routine, and possibly, boredom.  It gives each partner something to look forward to.  Relationships are born in spending time together, enjoying each other’s company.  And, just as flowers need water and soil, mutual activities keep a relationship healthy.

However, too much of a good thing can be a burden to a relationship just as too much water can kill a flower.  Having separate interests and friends that we each enjoy outside the relationship is not only beneficial to us as individuals, it is healthy for the relationship.  It gives us a break from each other and helps us to be more well-rounded individuals.  Time away from each other, when balanced in a  healthy way with time together, keeps us from becoming too dependent on each other and enmeshed in the relationship.

My husband and I enjoy coming together at the end of a day, catching each other up on the day’s activities.  We find that having separate lives and interests makes us each more interesting to the other.  As it is, we are both very proud of each other and delight in each other’s achievements.

Do my partner and I need more time together?  Or would we benefit from more time apart?


Written October 25, 2010, The Committed Relationship


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