IMG_2749He pauses to brush his lips across my neck as he passes by.  Ah!  Delicious.  We walk together as my fingers play a romantic tune in his palm. We both feel the heat.

Affection has been the glue in our marriage of over 50 years.  I’ve disliked him at times, even hated him.  But, I never wanted to be without him in my life.  Even when I thought I would leave him, I didn’t want to.  I didn’t want to give up that delicious heat.

Affection flows freely in the early days of a romantic relationship.  However, daily living — paying bills, walking the floor with an infant, caring for an aging parent — can erode the lovely feelings we once took for granted.  Some couples simply fall out of the habit of expressing affection for each other.

The biggest damage to affection can be unresolved issues between partners.  Many couples lapse into frozen co-habitation with little or no expressions of affection for each other — all because they haven’t been able to let go of some past hurt.  How sad and unnecessary this is.

If I find myself seething inside – unwilling to forgive my partner, I want to address the issue as soon as possible.  This may mean that I have a quiet discussion with him at a well-chosen time and place, or it may mean I do some inner work of forgiveness.  However I do it, I want to bring down the wall between us.

It may take baby steps at first for a couple to rekindle the sparks in a cooled relationship.  Perhaps, they can begin with lingering eye contact or a touch on the arm or by holding hands.

Whatever it takes, I’m willing to do my part to keep this happy part of our relationship alive and well.

Blow me a kiss from across the room.  Say I look nice when I don’t.  Touch my hair as you pass my chair.  Little things mean a lot.  

Kitty Kallen


Written September 27, 2014, The Committed Relationship


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