Keeping the Past in the Past

Once a woman has forgiven her man, she must not reheat his sins for breakfast. ~Marlene Dietrich

I’ve learned over the years that dragging the past into an argument is an effective way to escalate the argument way out of proportion. It is a mean-spirited and childish way to act and very effectively stinks up […]

Forgiveness as a Process

When resentment and anger have been keeping my spouse and me apart, the first step back into a loving relationship is a big dose of willingness. Without willingness, I most definitely will remain stuck. I must admit that sometimes withholding forgiveness feels good. I enjoy holding onto my anger and my self-righteousness. And, sometimes, I […]

The Obstacles to Forgiveness

The first obstacle I encountered that held me back from extending forgiveness was that I believed that if I forgave my partner, it would mean that I had to condone his behavior. I actually felt a responsibility to give him a cold shoulder to show him my disapproval. When a good friend and mentor showed […]

Healing through Forgiveness

One of the most effective ways to snuff the life out of a happy marriage is to foster resentments. Too many couples pile up these subtle killers, refusing to let them go until their marriage collapses under the burden. Not only does nursing resentments smother the flames of affection and respect in a marriage, it […]

Trust

Any marriage is most comfortable, safe, and healthy in an environment of mutual trust. However, sometimes one of the partners breaks trust through such deceptions as infidelity, lies, broken promises, secrets, or one or more of various addictions to such things as alcohol, drugs, gambling, or shopping. This need not signal the end of the […]

Keeping My Thoughts to Myself

Married life teaches one invaluable lesson: to think of things far enough ahead not to say them. ~Jefferson Machamer

I tend to have thoughts about whatever subject is under discussion at the time, whether it involves me or not. If I don’t have ideas for input and advice, I have questions. However, I’m learning that […]