A Toxic Environment

Many couples develop bad habits over time — habits of which they are often not even aware. Bickering and sniping and criticizing are common. These habits create a toxic environment, which is not healthy for the couple, their children, or anyone else who shares their living space.

Early in our marriage, my husband and I […]

Agree to Disagree

A young man I met at a social event told me he and his wife had just celebrated their first wedding anniversary. When I asked what he’d learned in the first year, he replied, “We never go to bed angry.” He went on to say that this didn’t mean that he and his wife don’t […]

Choosing My Response

This morning I was taken by surprise by my husband’s reaction to something I said. I thought I was being helpful. He thought I was being intrusive. I bought into his emotional reaction by reacting emotionally myself. I felt attacked. I attacked back. I raised my voice by several decibels in an attempt to convince […]


When I was a senior in high school my class spent a couple of weeks learning about various aspects of marriage. An image was given me in that class has stuck with me through the years. It is that of a triangle — God at the apex, and my spouse and I at the other […]

The Serenity Prayer

There have been times in our marriage when I bartered, manipulated, and contrived to get my partner to change in some way that I felt was important. I reasoned, cajoled, cried, and yelled — all to no avail. Naturally, I wore myself out in the process.

Then one day I was introduced to the Serenity […]