As many people of my era, I grew up in a family that didn’t express affection verbally or physically. I’m sure I was held as a baby, but once I reached some level of independence, I was on my own. I don’t even remember being hugged to be comforted when I got hurt. Hugging friends […]

It Takes Two to Tango — Or Not

Arguments can turn ugly and hateful and tear away at the fabric of a potentially happy marriage. Most couples repeat certain patterns in the set-up and execution of these painful exchanges. Often, they are so caught up in the subject du jour that they fail to see the same old melody with familiar lyrics, just […]

Before I Jump In

Sometimes, it’s tempting to interfere or take over things that are really not my business or my responsibility. One subtle way that I occasionally find myself interfering in my spouse’s or other’s affairs is to give unsolicited advice. Another way I can interfere is to volunteer to do something for someone I perceive is in […]

Repeating Patterns

For years, we fought, argued, and engaged in very painful emotional exchanges. The words were often different, the situations were different; however, the underlying theme was the same. I felt misunderstood and misjudged. I cried, yelled, and pleaded, trying to get him to understand me. He felt frustrated because I was upset, and he couldn’t […]