I look at the three couples looking out from the photo — smiling, clowning for the camera — my brother and his future wife, a couple who had been best friends of ours for many years, and my husband and I. We were sharing good times and creating memories at our family cabin in the […]


On occasion, my words or behavior with my spouse fall far below my expectations of myself. I say something in anger that I can’t believe I said, words that are designed to hurt. I feel mortified. It’s as though a dark shadow falls over me, cutting out all light, smothering me in gloom.

In the […]


Please. Thank you. I appreciate your help. Would you be willing? Great dinner. I understand. Good morning. You handled that situation well. These words and many others like them play like background music in our home.

How much sweeter marriage and life are when the melodies of common courtesy sweeten the communications of family members. […]


In the early years of our marriage, I used to feel sorry for myself when I perceived myself as mistreated or misunderstood in any way. I certainly didn’t realize it at the time, but I used self-pity, a “poor, mistreated me” demeanor as a way to get attention and to get the love I […]

The Two Voices in My Head

I recently heard a voice in my head being critical of the way my spouse was doing something. He wasn’t doing it “my” way; which, of course, was the “right” way. After, becoming aware of that voice of criticism and judgment in my head, I heard another voice. It reminded that there’s more than one […]

Making Amends

None of us are perfect human beings. We are all capable of error and moments of thoughtlessness. There are bound to be times when we fall short of loving behavior. The very familiarity and comfort we feel with another makes it easy to let our guard down. So, we say something unkind, let the other […]