November « 2014 « The Committed Relationship

Self-Inventory

The unexamined life is not worth living. – Socrates –

Two arch-enemies of a happy marriage are blame and criticism. If I’m unhappy with myself, it can be so tempting to employ these two practices. When I find myself focusing on his faults, this is a clue that I probably need to look at […]

The Power of Gratitude

(In celebration of this day, which has been set aside to focus on all the things for which we have to be grateful, I offer the following. Although, this writing is focused on the romantic relationship, it can be applied to all relationships and to life in general. — Anne)

There have been […]

Differences

What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility.

– Leo Tolstoy –

Both partners come into a relationship with preferences — things they like to do, favorite colors, styles of decor, the kind of movies they enjoy. The list is endless. […]

A Bad Mood

Because spouses share the same space, their moods and energy can get quite mixed up. If my spouse is having a bad day, I may end up on the receiving end of his bad mood, even though it has nothing to do with me. Though it may feel about me, I don’t have to take […]

Asking for Clarification

It’s inevitable that hurt feelings will occasionally crop up when two people who love each other live together. Many of these feelings can be avoided or quickly resolved through open and honest communication. For example, I have noticed that sometimes what I thought he said was not really what he said. Or, I may have […]

My Full Attention

“So,” I hear him say, “What do you think?” Huh? Oops! What do I think about what? I realize, that somewhere between, “Man, I had a great run!” and, “So, what do you think?,” I’d been off somewhere with my own thoughts – thoughts that I obviously found more engaging than what […]

Making Time for Each Other

Finding time to be alone with our life partners can be particularly challenging when our lives become over-crowded with work, family, and numerous commitments, all vying for our attention. When we’re raising a family, it can be especially difficult to make time for each other. It’s easy to take our companions for granted and to […]