Direct Requests

I confess that I want my partner to come up with what I want him to do, when I want him to do it, on his own with no help from me. I don’t want to have to ask him directly to take out the trash, help me clean up the kitchen, or run to […]

Different Tastes

In the first few years of our marriage my husband had a very limited food palette. He was particularly picky when it came to vegetables. High on his list of “don’t even think about it” were broccoli and brussels sprouts. Now I’d been raised to enjoy a wide variety of foods, including vegetables. I finally […]

Minding My Own Business

I don’t mind arguing with myself. It’s when I lose that bothers me. – Richard Powers –

When I tune into the constant chatter that’s rolling in my mind, I often find myself indulging in imaginary conversations with my partner. And, frequently, I discover that I’m thinking a whole story line of what my partner […]


My own thoughts can be my greatest enemy and poison the relationship I have with my partner. One negative thought pattern that is particularly damaging in any relationship is the act of comparing. Comparing my partner with others and comparing our relationship with the relationships of friends and acquaintances serves no good purpose. It’s so […]


There often seems to be a playfulness to wise people, as if either their equanimity has as its source this playfulness or the playfulness flows from the equanimity; and they can persuade other people who are in a state of agitation to calm down and manage a smile.

– Edward Hoagland –


Too often […]

Balance in the Relationship

But let there be spaces in your togetherness and let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love; let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.

– Khalil Gibran –

Like so many areas of life, balance is an important […]

Annoyance or Gratitude?

I’ve just read the same sentence for the fourth time. I clue in and realize it’s because my dear spouse keeps dropping sentences into the air with just enough space between to trick me into thinking he’s finished and I’m free to read on. I notice that the slight jaw-tightening feeling I’m experiencing is annoyance. […]


He pauses to brush his lips across my neck as he passes by. Ah! Delicious. We walk together as my fingers play a romantic tune in his palm. We both feel the heat.

Affection has been the glue in our marriage of over 50 years. I’ve disliked him at times, even hated him. But, I […]