Direct Communication

It wasn’t enough that that my spouse was willing to do things for me. I also wanted him to want to do them. Further, I wanted him to think of what I wanted without any help from me. In other words, I wanted him to offer to fill my desires without my having to […]


My mother and father-in-law were married for 67 years before she died a few years ago. Shortly before her transition, I ask her how she managed to stay happily married for so many years. Her reply takes me by surprise. She simply says, “Just do it.”

Frankly, I was hoping for more — something a […]

Letting Him Be Exactly As He Is

My spouse is in a cranky mood. My immediate response is to quiz him and delve into his psyche. Why is he mad? Is he mad at me? I want to talk him out of his bad mood. If I can manage to say the right things, I can probably convince him to feel […]

Letting My Needs be Known


After decades of being married, my husband and I often think and say the same thing at the same time. Once we even bought each other the same anniversary card. However, we can’t do this predictably. Often we are in totally different worlds in our thoughts. So, I can’t expect him to read […]